Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda,

I should have. I could have. I would have.

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever been told was to remove these words from passing my lips. They’re unnecessary, and if not used right, they will cause you so much harm without even realising it. After many times of doubting my decisions and dwelling on what could or should have been, this week was the first week that I naturally, without even realising it, turned a negative situation into a positive. I applied for my dream job and didn’t get it. For the first time in a long time I talked myself into a positive mindset about the job, and quietly listed the reasons why it wasn’t meant to be right now, YAY me!

It happens to us all; after having an argument you think of all the things you could have said. After not finishing the last bite of your food in a restaurant, later on that night you think, I should have finished that, now I’m hungry. When something goes wrong and you get blamed for it, you say well I would have done it if… By just accepting the fact that you didn’t do a certain thing will give your life the calm it needs for you to flourish. Although, I am very aware that ‘just accepting’ these things, doesn’t come easy. It takes patience, tears and setbacks to be calm about a situation you wished you felt differently about. When you eventually get to a place where dwelling no longer has room in your life, you will feel like a bird in the sky. In order to get to this place and avoid living in the negative past times, you have to live through them and allow yourself to feel all the bad times to realise what the good is all about.

My perceptions now, of how we react to the things that should, could or would have been are a form of self love. Accepting yourself, and your decisions in whatever state you were in when you made them, will bring you so much happiness in time.

So, be kind to yourself my loves, that is the only way.

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